When Will It Get Easier With A Baby

When Sienna was a few months old I googled ‘when will it get easier with a baby’. I was feeling a little overwhelmed, and my baby wouldn’t let me put her down. It was as if she were glued to my hip. Some people tried to be helpful and told me to let her cry, after all, she has to learn that I’m not going to give in to her every whim. Well, I just couldn’t do that. In my opinion, she was too small for such harsh measures. If I ever tried to let her cry, I ended up crying with her! I felt like such an awful mother and it just didn’t feel right. I kept remembering things like: you can’t spoil a baby.
What kind of answers do you think Google spewed out? Very unhelpful ones, that’s all I can tell you! The mothers who answered that question seemed to be bitter, as if they wanted to paint the rest of our lives black. Typical responses were: it doesn’t get easier; if you think it’s bad now, wait until they’re teenagers; why did you have kids in the first place etc. etc.
I’d like to answer this question for you, and I will be totally honest.
It DOES get easier! It gets so much easier! You just have to be patient. Once Sienna started being able to hold her head properly and start rolling onto her tummy and back again, she was so content that she would lie on her activity mat for a good 20-30 mins and just stare at bright things. 20-30 mins doesn’t sound like much, but if you have a really clingy baby then it’s like a spa weekend, trust me.
Then she started getting onto all fours and rocking back and forth. This eventually turned into crawling. Again, life got a bit easier. She would spend her time crawling around the lounge, exploring and playing. Then she’d pull herself up onto the side of the couch or coffee table and wobble around. That was a little bit scary because I was nervous of her falling, yet it helped me so much because she stopped clinging to me all the time. I finally had the feeling I could get things done.
At 11 months, she learnt to walk! A huge milestone! We were so proud and I was even more relieved- she now started to play properly. This did mean more mess, because she would carry all her toys/food/anything else through to wherever I was, but she had finally detached herself from my hip.
Sometimes I wish for my clingy, cuddly baby back- but I know that she is happy discovering the world. When I say ‘come cuddle’ she runs over to give me a quick peck before toddling on to more fun things.
She is now 17 months and I’m feeling back to normal. I can do the washing, clean the house, cook, play with Sienna, go out shopping or whatever I feel like- and it is so much easier than it was a year ago!
You can feel relieved, because this time in 3, 6, 12 months you too won’t be asking this question anymore. I have hope for the future as well, because a friend told me that when they start going to school, they become so independent, that you really miss the baby days.
Now I’m not naive. I do realise that the teenage years will be tough, and that being a mother is a hard job. I know that Sienna will give me grey hairs one day. I also know, however, that the First Time Mom in pyjamas on the couch, who hasn’t had a minute for herself all month, doesn’t need any snarky, negative comments. She needs the truth, and she needs support and encouragement. And I just gave that to her.
🙂 xx

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